


some kind of music

by carolinecrane



Series: down is where we came from [23]
Category: Glee
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-20
Updated: 2010-10-20
Packaged: 2017-10-12 19:19:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/128200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six years is a long time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	some kind of music

The only reason Quinn says yes to Finn's dinner invitation is because she knows Puck's going to be there. It's not that she's carrying a torch for him or anything so melodramatic; she never really wanted him to begin with, so there wasn't much to get over.

She knows she was kind of awful to him in high school, but that was a long time ago, and they've both moved on. Still, part of the reason she wants to see him is because she knows Kurt will be there too, and even though he's told her he's happy, she needs to see it for herself.

Part of it is because he's all she has left of the one thing she ever really loved. Mostly it's because seeing Kurt and Puck happy might actually give her hope that it's possible.

It's Kurt who answers the door, shivering against the cold and doing his best to smile as she brushes past him so he can shut out the Ohio winter again. Quinn waits until he turns to look at her, offers to take her coat and her purse, then she takes a step forward and wraps her arms around his shoulders.

"Mercedes asked me to give you this," she whispers near his ear.

It's not a lie; when she's not locked in a recording studio with several large men who 'appreciate my talent as much as my generous curves', Mercedes calls Quinn pretty regularly.

She says Quinn keeps her grounded. Quinn tries to take it as a compliment.

The last time they talked was just a couple days ago, when Mercedes heard that Quinn was going to dinner at the Hummels' and said, "Give my boy a big squeeze for me, okay? And make sure Puck's treating him right so I don't have to go to L.A. and hurt him. I don't have time for that mess."

So when she says the hug is from Mercedes she means it, but that's not really why she does it.

She holds on a little while longer, until she feels the awkward pat of his hand on her back. Then she lets go and gives him a smile, lets him take her coat and doesn't comment on how much he hasn't changed in the last few years.

"It's good to see you, Quinn," Kurt says, and he looks a little confused, like maybe he wasn't expecting to mean it.

When she turns around Puck's standing in the middle of the hall, hands in his pockets and sort of smirking and he looks exactly the same, except...softer, maybe. She gives him a lopsided smile and shakes her head and doesn't hug him.

"Let me guess, Schue's here already."

Puck laughs and nods in the direction of the living room, and she shrugs and follows him. And it's not that she really cares that Finn's not waiting for her at the door. She doesn't even mind that Schue's on the guest list too, but she's grateful Puck e-mailed her a heads up when he found out she was coming. It meant she didn't waste a lot of time stressing about whether or not to let Finn pretend to his mother that she's sort of his girlfriend again, anyway.

When they walk into the living room Will's talking about some play, waving his hands around while he describes the backdrops and when Quinn looks at Finn's face she's not sure whether to laugh or cry. He's completely enthralled with whatever Will's saying, and the fact that it's taking him so long to realize what's obvious to the entire rest of the _world_ is kind of tragic.

He looks up when they walk in, blushing and stammering a hello. Quinn just shakes her head when he starts to get up and waves at Mr. Schue, and when he smiles and leans in she lets him kiss her on the cheek. Like they're old friends instead of student and teacher, and she guesses that's how he _has_ to think of it now, but it's still kind of weird.

"Quinn, can I get you something to drink?" Kurt asks, but Quinn shakes her head and settles into the chair opposite Finn.

"Thanks, but I'm fine for now," she answers, mostly because she doesn't want Kurt to leave.

Puck sat down on the couch almost as soon as he walked back into the room, and Kurt's sort of hovering next to him, like he's not sure what to do now that she's turned down his hospitality. Maybe he was just hoping for an excuse to get away from the painful flirtation going on at the other end of the couch; she wouldn't blame him, because it's really not possible for _anyone_ to be that interested in the set design for a community theater production of _Our Town_.

She's almost sure he's going to make a break for it anyway when Puck's hand closes around his, and she can't help smiling when she hears him say, "Babe, would you just chill for awhile? Sit down, you're making me nervous."

The look on his face tells her he's said those exact words to Kurt before, so she's not surprised when Kurt rolls his eyes and lets himself be pulled down onto the couch next to Puck. His arm slides around Kurt's shoulders as he leans around Finn to catch a glimpse of the game that's muted on the TV, and it looks so _easy_ that she has to cough against the sudden tightness in her throat.

"Come on, you call that a pass?" Puck says to no one in particular, but Finn and Will both stop talking and look at the screen.

Will shakes his head and swallows the rest of his beer, then he gestures at the game with the empty bottle. "They've been playing like this all season. It's embarrassing."

"It's the Browns, what do you expect?" Kurt says, and he sounds just as bored as ever, like this entire night is completely beneath him, but it makes Puck laugh, then he leans in and smacks a kiss against Kurt's cheek.

He turns right back to the game, but Quinn's still watching Kurt, so she doesn't miss the way his cheeks flush or the little smile when he casts a glance at Puck's profile. She wishes she could take a picture of that moment to send to Mercedes, just to show her that Kurt's doing fine. Instead she just smiles and makes a mental note to e-mail her later and tell her everything, from the way Kurt practically glows whenever Puck looks at him to the way Will keeps catching sight of Finn and doing a double-take, almost like he's never really looked at him before tonight.

There is something different about him, she has to admit. He's wearing a shirt she's never seen before, plaid with embroidering on the front and it looks good on him, but it's not really his style. It's a little too fashion-forward for Finn, and she suspects Kurt might have had a hand in what he wore tonight.

For his date with Schue, she reminds herself with a sigh. And it's not that she's jealous; she's known since high school that it's over between them for good, no matter what lies Finn's tried to tell himself. But it was easier to ignore her own dismal lack of a social life when Finn was still single, which probably makes her a bad person, and she feels a little selfish for thinking it. Her Psych professors are always telling them to embrace their feelings, though, so she's just...embracing.

And she's taken enough Psych classes by now to know that the reason she's having so much trouble moving forward is because she just can't seem to let go. She knows everyone thinks she should be over it, and maybe she should.

Six years is a long time. It's a long time to carry around a hole in the middle of her chest, one she can't fill no matter what she does. She wants to scream it whenever her mother gives her that 'poor Quinn' look, the one that says she wishes Quinn could just be okay again. But her mother never lost something so big that it feels like part of her is gone forever, and Quinn doesn't know how to make her understand that.

"Hey," Puck says, stretching a leg out to kick her shoe and dragging her back to reality. The reality that she's the fifth wheel in a room full of boys she grew up with, boys she knows so well she feels like she's choking just being around them again.

"Hey." She casts a glance at Kurt to find that he's not sitting next to Puck anymore. "Where'd your better half go?"

"To play happy hostess," Puck says, waving an empty beer bottle in the air. "So what's up with you? It's not that, is it?"

He nods toward Finn and Will, and really, that's just insulting.

"Please," she says, rolling her eyes and hesitating for a second before she asks what she really wants to know. "Did you get a picture?"

"Yeah. She got big, huh?" Puck says, and the way he smiles just makes her feel worse. "Kurt made a copy for my mom. She totally plotzed, as usual."

Quinn smiles back at him, but she doesn't really mean it. She stopped showing her mom the pictures a couple years ago, around the same time she got sick of seeing the 'poor Quinn' look every time her mother looked at her. So she just stopped showing her the pictures, and she stopped mentioning her daughter, and now they just pretend that the whole thing just...never happened.

So maybe that's why she came here tonight. Puck's the only person she knows who doesn't treat her like there's something wrong with her for wanting to talk about it, for _missing_ their daughter so much that it's hard to breathe.

Finn doesn't get it, and Quinn doesn't try to talk to him about it, because she's already put him through enough. And she knows he feels like he lost something too; it would be impossible not to, she supposes.

She glances over at Finn and Mr. Schue, laughing at some dumb joke only the two of them get. They're so _right_ together it hurts to look at, and she's happy for Finn, but she doesn't know how much more of this she can take.

As soon as she thinks it Kurt reappears, still looking a little bit like a cat in a roomful of rocking chairs as he rests a hand on Puck's shoulder and gives her a thin-lipped smile.

"Dinner's served."

"Great, I'm starving," Finn announces, and Will laughs and rests a hand on his shoulder, just for a second. Then he's following Finn out of the room, and Quinn swallows a sigh and stands up to follow them.


End file.
